Comment: May the secret chiefs of Leave forgive me for the treachery I am about to utter

The Telegraph 10 months ago

Annoying as it is, agreeing to 'regulatory alignment' with the EU might not be the worst thing in the world

The game’s up. I knew we couldn’t get away with it indefinitely. So now is the time to come clean about the Secret Life of Leavers. I can reveal that the suspicions of Remainers were 100 per cent spot-on.

Each morning, every Leave supporter in the country congregates at a secret location in order to receive our orders for the day. I can’t go into too many details, but the meeting takes place in a cavernous area hidden beneath an extinct volcano. There we gather at about 8am, exchanging small talk, usually involving complaints about political correctness and why “Love Thy Neighbour” and “The Black and White Minstrel Show” aren’t on any more.

A long table sits in the centre of the floor, just to the right of the piranha pool. At precisely 8.15, a hush descends and a shadowed figure...

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