A WOMAN took to Mumsnet to ask if it was acceptable to lie to get IVF provided on the NHS – and was slammed by users of the site.
The lady, who goes by the username of LittleMissNew, explained that she has been desperately trying and failing to have a baby with her partner naturally.
Her partner’s child, nine, lives with the pair and this has sprung up a moral dilemma when it comes to her qualifying for free IVF on the NHS.
She explained on the Mumsnet thread: “I started going to the doctors saying we have been TTC [trying to conceive] for over a year she asked if we had any previous children living with us.
“I said no, and she said ‘good’, because otherwise you can’t have IVF on the NHS if you do.
“I know morally I’m being wrong but I desperately want a baby and we can’t afford IVF and to say that I can play parent to his DC [darling child] couldn’t be further from the truth, I have no say in what she does or doesn’t do and she doesn’t treat me like a step mum.”
Mums took to Mumsnet to slam her for considering lying to get free IVF on the NHS
She explained that the child’s school and doctor’s address are still registered with her mum and there is nothing in writing to say she lives with them.
She continued: “Don’t get me wrong we rub alone just fine but she has difficulty accepting her mum and dad splitting up – even though they had been split for a good four years before I came along – she’s been used to having her dad to herself and I think she resents us being together in a way so I can’t hope to be any sort of mum figure to her for the foreseeable at least.
“I just think it’s unfair that I’m being penalised for something that is out of my control.”
Her post struck a chord with online readers, and quickly had over 260 replies within one day of posting to the popular parenting site.
And there an overwhelming response of mums slamming her for even considering lying to get IVF.
One reasoned: “You could get into serious trouble if anyone found out.”
Another commented: “Yes. You’re bumping someone else off the bottom of the list by lying. Try to have a little empathy.”
What is IVF?
- The process involves removing an egg from a woman’s ovaries and fertilising them using sperm in a laboratory.
- The fertilised egg, also known as an embryo, is transferred back into a woman’s womb to grow.
- The process can use eggs and sperm from the couple themselves, or these can be sourced from a donor.
- The success rate can depend on a number of factors, including the age of the woman and the cause of their infertility (if it has been determined).
Although many of the comments said it was wrong to lie, some were sympathetic to her case
And many pointed out that her actions could be considered “fraud.”
However not all of the commenters condemned her actions, and some empathised with her plight.
One supporter said: “What a stupid rule! Do it. What would they do if you were unlucky enough to get caught? Best of luck to you.
Meanwhile one wrote: “Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you. Sometimes forgetting to update your doctor on the change of circumstances is ok.”
Who can have IVF?
The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends in its fertility guidelines that IVF should be offered to:
- women under 43 years of age who have been trying to get pregnant through regular unprotected sex for two years
- women who have had 12 cycles of artificial insemination
Those who have been recommended by NICE for NHS-funded IVF in England will then have to be approved by local Clinical Commissioning Groups (CCGs) who can have stricter criteria.
These requirements can include:
- not having any children already, from both your current and any previous relationships
- being a healthy weight
- not smoking
- falling into a certain age range (for example, some CCGs only fund treatment for women under 35)
If a woman doesn’t qualify for IVF on the NHS, treatment is available at a private clinic.
Earlier this week a mum asked for advice over her bossy mother-in-law… who insists on telling her she’s doing everything wrong.
Previously Mumsnet users were horrified by a cake shaped like a dirty nappy overflowing with poo.