Taking Charge Of Your Life Leads To Success.

Forbes 1 week ago
Successful Women

Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent her entire career studying attitude and performance, and her latest study shows that your attitude (towards self-improvement) may be a better predictor of your success than your IQ.

Dweck found that people’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A study conducted by Stanford researchers analyzed the brains of almost 500 students to figure out how attitude affects achievement, and they did find something truly amazing. Did you know that your attitude towards learning is a substantial indicator of success, more so than your traditional IQ? 

So why work on your attitude in 2020? It is a good investment.

Success, freedom and status don’t necessarily equal happiness. In fact, I’ve met a lot of objectively successful people who are miserable because they feel empty or not satisfied with where they are in life. Happiness doesn’t come from owning lots of things. The more you own, the more worried you tend to be. There’ll always be someone who has more than you and someone more talented than you. Success is all about building up the courage to find your own self, stand by it and feel like you’re accomplishing something meaningful (whatever that may mean to you).

I meet so many people and they’re not living; they’re not thriving or flourishing. Don’t look for a comfortable life. Life is fabulous when it is challenged. A successful career is more than just beating the competition. Success isn’t limited and you don’t become less successful just because others are also successful. Put down your round-saw and forget the competition. There’s enough for everyone and you’ll notice that your success will grow when you share it with others.

Will you know when you’ve reached success? If so, how do you measure it? 

All careers are individual and should be tailored to your abilities and motivation. There was a woman I once knew who loved arranging and hosting kids’ birthday parties but wasn’t quite sure how she would be able to make a living from it. Fast forward today, she’s learned to believe in herself – now she’s a professional event planner for kids’ birthday parties and steps in whenever busy parents want to give their kids an unforgettable birthday. She earns more than the average person and she’s happier than ever because she’s doing what she loves and is good at. 

I have similar anecdotes about bakers, tattoo artists, teachers, someone who can take deep and long breaths, and an ex-troublemaker who now teaches other people how to tackle troublemakers.

I suggest you use the DREAM-model as a tool to describe your future career: 

  • Details 
  • Route
  • Execution
  • Ambition
  • Market 

Anticipate, planning and execute cleanly. Most people think but do not act; therefore, to achieve success, you must be a “doer.” 

Details: 

Describe your dream job. What do you want to do more than anything else? Describe it in as many details as possible. 

Route: 

Describe your dream career. What does it entail? Where do you start and when you’ve made this start, what is the next step?

Execution:

Once you know what it is you want, how you are going to get it, and what you need to do. Then you move onto the step in the plan, which is to execute the steps. Put your values, talents, goals, purpose and mission into action. Honestly, most people fail here. Many suffer from the inability to transform a dream into a plan and execute the plan. Execution is the most critical part. 

Ambition:

Who or what do you want to influence your career through? What are your aspirations for your career? What’s your purpose?

Market: 

How are you going to earn money? Who are your clients? What challenges are they facing? What issues do they have? What do they look like? Are they willing to pay to have their problems solved?

The value of a journal

Your life is a manifestation of your actions, thoughts, and convictions.

A boy falls into a hole. He shouts, “OUCH,” and a voice answers, “OUCH.” Curious, the boy shouts back, “Who are you?” to which the voice responds, “Who are you?” Now angry, he shouts, “Coward,” and the voice repeats, “Coward.” He looks up at his dad and says, “What’s going on?” The boy’s clever day says, “Try to shout something nice, son”. The boy shouts, “I admire you,” and the voice says it back. He tries once again with the words “You’re a hero,” and the voice shouts, “You’re a hero.”

The dad explained to the son that it was just his echo, but that was what real life was like as well. Whatever the son says out loud will come back to him.

Think about that. Think about what you’re sending out, saying and doing to other people. It’ll come back to you some way or the other.

Look in the mirror. The person looking back at you is either your best friend or your worst enemy. You become whatever you think about yourself. Try to describe the inner dialogue you have with yourself. Write a journal for a week. Consider your thoughts and actions. This should give you an idea of where you’re going and whether you’re your best friend or your worst enemy.

Train your self-discipline (or your self-preservation)

Nobody’s going to come to your rescue. Stop waiting for Prince Charming; I guarantee it’s a waste of time. Ride by yourself. That’s what my friends and I wrote to each other on the notes we passed around in the 80s. There’s no such thing as the right time, either – if there is, you have to create it yourself. You have to figure out how to take care of yourself and not be economically dependent on others. If you’re living off benefits, your spouse, your parents or something else, it’s time to reconsider. Take charge of your destiny and decide if you want to be responsible.

You must want to move, challenge yourself, grow your passion and your inner tiger. Don’t sink into self-medication, substance abuse and other unhealthy habits. People eat and drink themselves to death because they don’t want to feel in this life. We all have ups and downs – and we learn most from our darkest chapters.

Stop blaming yourself for everything

When it comes to personal strength and the ability to change a pattern or break a bad habit, stop blaming yourself for the fact that you can’t always break the pattern. You can’t always make bad habits go away, but that doesn’t mean you’re not motivated enough. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak – but it might mean that you’re not opening your mind enough to see what’s stopping you from living up to your potential.

Find out how to resist temptation

You must tame your inner demons. Let me give you an example. A couple of years ago, a researcher called Hyrum carried out a study of forty young people. He brought them into the lab to put their self-control to the test. They were told to complete four tests and that they would be paid 70 kroner for each test they completed. In total, they would be able to earn 280 kroner. They were told that something would tempt them to spend the money between each of the four tests. They all talked loudly among themselves about how much money they would have at the end and what they would use their cold, hard cash on.

They went into the first exercise and realized how easy it was to earn money. The task didn’t ask anything special of them – all they had to do was sort candy into different colors. The next job was to sort toys in alphabetical order, which was easy, too. They were paid the promised 70 kroner for each task and now had 140 kroner. They were constantly surrounded by goods such as candy, toys, etc., all marked with their prices that clearly showed that they were more expensive here than in the real world. The participants knew that. So, they were surrounded by temptations, but the temptations were too expensive.

Most of the participants left the lab with almost no money because they had bought the ridiculously expensive things. Had they waited to shop until they were out, they would have saved more than 2/3 of the price. Some of the young people managed to bring home all their newly earned cash. Were they more disciplined than the others? Personal motivation and the ability to bump your own needs down the list of priorities is critical to reaching your goals in this life. 

The people around you should motivate and strengthen your ability to reach your goals, so think about who you choose to surround yourself with and don’t lead yourself into temptation. Put away the bowl of candy, move your TV into the attic, sell your car and buy a bike. Take a good look at your inventory and get rid of the things that impact you negatively.

I’ve tested the method myself and it worked. Back in 2001, I decided to quit smoking and I figured it’d be hard. I was living on the fifth floor of a building (with no elevator) and I had an agreement with the owner of the local kiosk that I’d only bring one cigarette with me at a time whenever I bought a new pack. I was never allowed to bring the entire pack into the apartment, so I ran up and down the stairs every time I wanted a cigarette. When you start to notice a pattern you’re falling into, it’ll be easier for you to stick to what you’re used to and not to put your self-discipline to the test all the time. You can design your own plan for how you’ll change. 

Routine is the enemy of development

People struggle to free themselves from their routines. We dream of taking time to think, go on long walks, read more books and educate ourselves (even further), but the fact is that most of us just dream about it. We daydream and fantasize, but most of us never act on any of it. We live routine lives, even if we don’t want to and even if we have a million other things we would like to do. Most people end up that way because of work, kids, partners, finances and such. Most people don't have the energy to do something new because that takes mental openness, physical readiness, inspiration and commitment. Think about it – do we have other options than the ones staring us in the face?


Source link
Read also:
Business Insider › Lifestyle › 2 months ago
The method you use to charge your Apple Pencil depends on which model of the Pencil you own. You can charge the original Apple Pencil by inserting its Lightning connector into your iPad's Lightning port. To charge a second generation Apple Pencil...
Business Insider › Lifestyle › 2 months ago
If your Samsung Galaxy S10 won't charge, there are a few different ways to fix it. You should try to charge your Galaxy S10 with a different power source, charge it when it's powered off, and charge it wirelessly. If those fixes don't work, you should...
Business Insider › Lifestyle › 2 months ago
You can charge an Xbox One controller with the Xbox One Play & Charge Kit by connecting your controller to the console via a USB cable. Your Xbox One controller can be used while it's charging with the Play & Charge Kit, and it should take about four...
Business Insider › Lifestyle › 3 weeks ago
You can charge your Samsung Galaxy S10 faster by using the "Fast cable charging" feature, which can charge your phone to about 80% in just over a half hour with the right cable. For quick charging to work, the fast charge mode must be enabled in the...
Business Insider › Finance › 4 days ago
Life insurance beneficiaries receive the payout from a life insurance policy. A will or trust doesn't supersede a life insurance policy. Life insurance beneficiaries are final. Most life insurance policies make it easy to change or update your...
Axios › Politics › 2 months ago
Data: Populace/Gallup Success Index; Chart: Axios VisualsHow Americans believe our society measures success — namely, fame — is totally different than how people define success in their own lives, according to a new Gallup/Populace survey of more...
CNBC › 3 weeks ago
If you haven't found massive success as a young person, that might be a good thing, according to "Hamilton" creator Lin-Manuel Miranda. "I am so grateful that the success of 'Hamilton' happened sort of a little later in my life," Miranda, 39, said at...
Chicago Tribune › 3 weeks ago
Deerfield police blotter for the week includes a report that a license plate stop leads to driving on suspended license charge
Forbes › 2 weeks ago
For the success of your business and to maximize your impact in the world, your pricing strategy needs to be coherent. Your strategy must match your market, your marketing and the value you deliver.
Business Insider › 2 months ago
Lifeproof's new power bank is built for the outdoors enthusiast or professional on the go. It will charge your laptop two or three times over, with a smartphone charge or two left in the balance. Also, waterproof and equipped with a flashlight with...
Sign In

Sign in to follow sources and tags you love, and get personalized stories.

Continue with Google
OR