KILLER dad Chris Watts still loves his former mistress who he blames for making him so crazy with desire that he murdered his whole family.
Explosive newly released letters penned by the jailed murderer reveal the chilling extent of his lust for ex-workmate Nichol Kessinger.
Chris Watts, 34, with the family he would go on to murder: Celeste, 3, Bella, 4, and pregnant wife Shannan[/caption]
Watts makes a series of sickening revelations that are compiled in an explosive new book on the murders[/caption]
He told author Cherlyn Cadle: “If I had not met Nikki, I would never have killed my family,” DailyMail.com reports.
Cadle and Watts struck up a correspondence and his letters and interviews have been compiled into a harrowing confession tome.
Disturbing extracts reveal how Watts, who will rot in jail for the rest of his life, felt no remorse as he brutally annihilated his family.
Watts, 34, smothered his two daughters, 4 and 3, before strangling his pregnant wife and dumping her body in a shallow grave last August.
After the murders, Watts told Cadle: “All I could feel was now I was free to be with Nikki.
“Feelings of my love for her was overcoming me. I felt no remorse.
“The darkness inside of me had won, it was still in me, though, I thought maybe permanently.
“I felt evil, swallowed up by this thing inside of me.
“I felt like I could kill anything and be justified for doing it.”
POISONED PREGNANT WIFE
So obsessed was Watts with Nichol – who he’d met just two months before the slayings – that he tried to force his wife Shannan to miscarry.
Shannan, who Watts strangled so hard that her eyes filled with blood, was pregnant with their first son – to be named Nico.
But warped Watts was desperate to have Nichol bear his only son – after the births of daughters Bella, 4, and three-year-old Celeste.
He secretly gave 15-week pregnant Shannan powerful painkillers in the hope that it would kill their unborn child.
Christopher says he loved her like he has never loved anyone else beforeCherlyn Cadle
Describing how Watts talked about Nicole, Cadle said: “He was mesmerised by her.
“She showed him respect that he didn’t feel like he’d ever been shown before.
“Christopher says he loved her like he has never loved anyone else before.
“At the same time, he loves Shanann although he knows that she was not his soulmate and not the person he was supposed to be with.”
Kessinger, who told cops she had no idea of Watts’ murderous intent, has reportedly been place in witness protection.
Letter From Christoper is available on pre-order and is published on October 7.
It divulges fresh aspects of his grisly crime that were previously unknown to investigators.
This includes the sickening confession that Watts smothered his daughters twice after failing to kill them first time around.
The traumatised girls then walked in on Watts moments after he strangled Shannen at their home in Frederick, Colorado.
Bella’s eyes were bruised and both girls looked like they had been through trauma. That made the act that much worseChris Watts
In one sprawling letter, Watts recalls in gruesome detail how he carried out the callous slaughter.
He writes: “August 13th, morning of, I went to the girls’ room first, before Shanann and I had our argument.
“I went to Bella’s room, then Cece’s room and used a pillow from their bed (to kill them).
“That’s why the cause of death was smothering.
After I left Cece’s room, then I climbed back in bed with Shanann and our argument ensued.
“After Shanann had passed, Bella and Cece woke back up. I’m not sure how they woke back up, but they did.
“Bella’s eyes were bruised and both girls looked like they had been through trauma.
“That made the act that much worse”, he adds.
‘EYES FILLED WITH BLOOD’
Watts later told Cadle in extreme detail of how Shanann looked as he throttled her.
He said: “Isn’t it weird how I look back and what I remember so much is her face getting all black with streaks of mascara.
“Her eyes filled with blood; as she looked at me and she died.
“I knew she was gone when she relieved herself.”
The newly-unearthed testimony goes against Watts’ claims during his murder trial that he acted spontaneously on the day of the slayings.
He writes of thinking to himself as he said goodnight to the girls the previous evening: “That’s the last time I’m going to be tucking my babies in.
“I knew what was going to happen the day before and I did nothing to stop it!”
Watts goes on to tell how he dragged Shanann’s corpse in a bed sheet to his car as his bruised and horrified girls wept – telling them she was “unwell.”
Watts later drove his daughters and his 15-week pregnant wife’s body to a remote oil field – where he dumped the corpse in a shallow grave.
Without pity, Watts tossed Shannon’s body face-first into the hole – forcing her to partly give birth to their dead fetus, who was to be a son named Nico.
In a chilling conversation with Cadle, Watts says: “She landed face down, I remember being so angry with her that I was not going to change how she landed.”
After dumping his wife’s body, Watts says he then “walked back to the truck and with the blanket that Celeste was holding.
“I put it over her head and smothered her.”
DAUGHTER FOUGHT BACK
Watts forced Celeste’s body through an eight-inch hatch in one of the tankers – recalling: “I couldn’t believe how easily it was to just let her drop through the hole and let her go.
“I heard the splash as she hit the oil.”
Watts then describes in appalling detail how he turned his murderous intent to Bella – who desperately tried to save herself.
Telling of his surprise, he says: “Little quiet Bella had a will to live.
“Out of all three, Bella is the only one that put up a fight.
“I will hear her soft little voice for the rest of my life, saying, ‘Daddy, NO!!! She knew what I was doing to her.
“She may not have understood death, but she knew I was killing her.”
Watts pleaded guilty on November 6 last year to multiple counts of first degree murder and was jailed for life without parole.
Watts with his wife Shannan, who he strangled and dumped in a shallow grave[/caption]
Watts had originally tried to claim that Shannan disappeared with their children[/caption]
Touching tributes left to murdered Shannan, Bella and Celeste Watts[/caption]
Watts, 34, told in harrowing detail how he murdered his family so he could be with his mistress[/caption]