How Coleen Rooney created the best day on Twitter of all time

The Guardian Lifestyle 2 months ago

Name: Wag wars.

Age: Brand new.

Appearance: Arguably the greatest thing that has ever happened in the entire history of the internet.

That’s a bold claim. Yes, but it still stands. Books will be written about the rivalry between Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy. Plays will be staged. Their faces will be carved into mountains.

Why, exactly? You didn’t see? OK, here’s the short version: at 10:29am on Wednesday morning, Rooney tweeted a long and rollicking tale of intrigue via a screenshot from the Notes app. Someone, she said, had been passing the Sun information contained in her private Instagram stories. So she set a trap.

A trap? Yes. Rooney says she blocked everyone but one person from accessing her stories, and then made up a series of elaborate lies to see if they would still reach the newspaper.

What lies are we talking about? There was a story about her signing up to Strictly Come Dancing, and one about her flying to Mexico to have gender-selection treatment for their next baby. All lies, she says, made up simply to trap the person she suspected. And the stories appeared in the paper.

So, who did she suspect? My God, this is tense. To quote Rooney’s tweet: “It’s … Rebekah Vardy’s account.”

Oh. But that doesn’t matter, because the drama has entertained us all day.

Really? Oh God, yes. Within minutes of this happening, people had mocked up memes of Guess Who? boardgame boxes and Scooby Doo featuring Rooney uncovering Vardy’s identity. And asking what mystery she will uncover next. It’s been amazing.

So people are on Rooney’s side? A million per cent. She’s everyone’s new hero. Wagatha Christie, they’re calling her.

Has Vardy responded to this? Almost immediately. In another screenshot, she denied the claims, pointed out that “I’m not being funny but I don’t need the money”, and claimed that Rooney was the real villain for doing this “when I’m heavily pregnant”.

I’m not convinced. Very few people are. But it’s probably worth pointing out that Rooney isn’t a legally qualified detective, so we shouldn’t necessarily jump to any public conclusions.

What about private conclusions? Are you kidding? Jump away! How could you not? This is the most entertaining thing that has ever happened in the history of the world.

Yes but Brexit. Listen, the planet is a cascade of unending misery right now. Two Wags having an unnecessarily public barney on the internet is exactly the distraction we all need. Give us this, you grump.

Do say: “Coleen Rooney is the world’s greatest detective.”

Don’t say: “But what if they both made this up to trick you into leaking it to the press?”


Source link
Read also:
The Sun › Lifestyle › 1 month ago
COLEEN and Wayne Rooney enjoyed quality time with their boys as they put WAG-gate behind them in Barbados. The couple took a holiday to the Caribbean amid Coleen’s spat with fellow WAG Rebekah Vardy. Coleen’s father Tony and her sons Kai, nine...
The Sun › Lifestyle › 1 month ago
Rebekah Vardy and Coleen Rooney’s WAG war divides celeb world – who is backing whom? The Coleen Rooney vs Rebekah Vardy war took a shock twist yesterday – as Danielle Lloyd waded into the row live on GMB. While the warring WAGS could meet in the...
The Sun › Lifestyle › 1 month ago
Rebekah Vardy and Coleen Rooney’s WAG war divides celeb world – who is backing whom? The Coleen Rooney vs Rebekah Vardy war took a shock twist yesterday – as Danielle Lloyd waded into the row live on GMB. While the warring WAGS could meet in the...
The Sun › 1 month ago
COPS were pictured arriving at Rebekah and Jamie Vardy’s home today after claims the pregnant mum had been trolled over her row with fellow WAG Coleen Rooney. The pregnant mum was yesterday “outed” in an extraordinary rant by Coleen Rooney, who...
The Sun › Sports › 1 month ago
OMG! HOW could she!!?? Coleen Rooney has created the biggest WAG fallout since Nicola McLean whipped off her 32FF superbra. Her Wagatha Christie antics have had the nation in stitches – and let’s face it, it was kind of amusing. Yes, there is the...
The Sun › 2 months ago
AN amateur darts player claims to have shown Coleen Rooney how to catch the person who was leaking stories about her. Coleen, 33, today sparked an extraordinary Twitter spat with fellow WAG Rebekah Vardy after accusing her of telling The Sun about her...
Business Insider › Sports › 2 months ago
Coleen Rooney accused Rebekah Vardy of leaking her "false" private Instagram stories to the media without permission. Rooney said she figured out the leaker by blocking all of her Instagram followers but one, Vardy, then posting "false" information to...
The Sun › 1 month ago
WAGS Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy will never be friends again as pals of the pair claim a cheating jibe sparked their fallout. Coleen, who has been dubbed “WAGatha Christie”, sparked an extraordinary Twitter spat yesterday by “outing...
The Sun › Lifestyle › 2 months ago
DANIELLE Lloyd has called Rebekah Vardy a ‘rat’ amid her row with Coleen Rooney, while Nicola McLean defended her. Earlier today, Coleen, 33, accused her fellow WAG of leaking stories about her, sparking an extraordinary Twitter spat. Former...
Newsweek › 2 months ago
Coleen Rooney is the wife of MLS soccer player Wayne Rooney, who plays for D.C. United.
Sign In

Sign in to follow sources and tags you love, and get personalized stories.

Continue with Google
OR